===========================
Wines consumed: 13
Food: three sandwiches with salmon, eal and shrimp "kroketjes"
Weather: when I was able to get out, BEAUTIFUL
Hugs and kisses: hugs: 0 (sniff); cheekies: 6 (hello and good night)
TV shows watched: Law and Order
============================

Hi my friends,

Let's do it memento style.

Just came home from cheesy bar! It was quiet, but anyway we were having some nice talks, a guy working at KLM, Mr R, came in and discussed with me about the Telegraaf and if it should be a tabloid or not and so on. Cheesy Mom made clear how important eyes are. They are the mirror of your soul and even after you die, it is the only thing that should not be used for science purposes, and all kind of things about eyes came in, especially what makes a lot of people scared in horror movies or ghost movies? Right, eyes! Actually a lot of people have that.

I went out into the city of beautiful cheeses and found a spot on really one of the best places in Alkmaar to sit outside: De Gulden Vlies on the (yes we also have one) Lindegracht. It is a perfect place with good wine and good food :) Sat there and read my current book (Er kon niets verkeerd gaan - Bob den Uyl) as well as looking at people a lot - to be honest by far one of my biggest hobbies ever! Also I was asking myself why people sit "behind" a tv, but "in front of" a computer, I guess it has to do with action. That's why women "behind" the window perform all the action and men "in front" just look and negotiate before the real thing is starting. Around 18:30 I went to cheesy bar.

Came home around 6:20 by the first train to Alkmaar. This morning I had a nasty stomach ache so I called off for duty, slept late, had some creamy peanut butter (still not the original one Bionic promised to get me, but anyway) with bread, some coffees and went through the problems in the world (Telegraaf and Noord Hollandse Dagblad), put on some realxing radio and decided to do some things in the house as I was not able to go out.

Sunday evening I was in cheesy bar DP and started off some sms conversation with bionic which ended in a visit to see the bionic factory (including J-o) around 21:40. Nice place you have! Watched some tv and drank some beverages after which the two ladies went off to bed, and I was in the living room with a remote in my hand and a nicely prepared couch to sleep on, but I was restless in Seattle. I guess I am like a Dracula kind of person: either be in my own coffin at dawn or wander around. Went into the city, checked out some bars and made a night journey over the canals (again). Funny thing was that there wasd a lot of fog, so I felt like I was in a Jack The Ripper movie (remember London, 18-something); don't worry, I didn't kill or dismembered anyone as I didn't have my equipment with me anyway (I don't like the bare hand job......... ehm... never mind, shut up).

Ok, sweeties, no image posting today, tomorrow I will go out for dinner with real mum and dad in Hoofddorp so I will not be able to enjoy your wonderful company. Dr Kaboom, I do hope to see you soon, so we can discuss more about string theory ;)

Hope to see a lot of you slutty dikes on wednesday so we can kout up a little and play silly games. Tada! Btw: I hope this was not confusing!

Signed,
Claw

Hello you mortals,

Finally I blog you from The Office (not to be confused with the tv series ;)). It is very busy but I just have to do this. Yesterday we had a very nice evening with a small group: Mooses, Iceman, , later on for a short moment Harry from the East and then me, myself and I (yes, I have more personalities and No, I am not schizophrenic). All the things you can do with leaks, leaking and ducks, or any crazy sick combination of them, is astonishing. Desperately leaking Susan is a movie you have to see (thanks Olliebollie). We laughed our asses off!
Just hope tonight we have a big group again and also I am happy mr van Driel will be among us soon. Now I will continue my work and blog you all later!

CHEERZ!
PS: with coffee now, wine comes later

I came from somewhere but I really don't know where I came from

Hello my friends,

Today I had a quite ok day, busy, but fortunately I could handle everything. This evening went out with real mom and dad for a nice dinner at the chinese restaurant in Osdorp. Usual talks as the ones you always have with parents (nagging, am I really becoming an alcoholic?) and a nice sea food menu :) Yummy! Went to Cheesy Town around 2130 hours and watched the last efforts of the new girl, Karin, working at Cheesy Bar. She doesn't have any horeca background/experience and cheese mom told me it was VERY BUSY, so she had to learn and serve a lot, maybe more than she can handle in one day, so afterwards, around 00:30, business ANALYSIS. They have a good feeling about her but still she has a lot to learn, know the habits of the local customers and also I talked a bit with her to get to know her. I think she is good, responsible and willing to learn new things (no cahier experience at all! so imagine a place crowded and try to deal with that). Of course there were also people (drunk) trying to make fun and they didn't realize they made her nervous as hell. Anyway, she servived and will be back on friday for the next lessons.

How are you all doing? At the lunch break I walked towards old Slutty Dike and I passed the Coengebouw so now I know all about your geographic working environment.

Tomorrow I'll be back at the Grand Hermes to consume a lot of wine, throw in bad comments and jokes, just be prepared, hehehehe. Happy things are going better with Rodrillo now and hopefully he will be joining our "Stammtisch" again soon.

Sleep tight, don't have the dreams I have, and cu all very sewn. Hope to get some comments soon (I feel a bit lonely ;)).

CHEERZ!

Hello sweeties,

Just had more impressions and emotions than I can handle right now. From a blog point of view I have to bail out. The only thing that comforts me now is the old flamenco music I listen right now (Manuel el Agujeta, Sabicas, El Camaron). Not much comments. I hope tomorrow I'll be able to express myself in words.

Lord Of The Antz, have a wonderful holiday in Spain and don't forget to bring me the cheese.

Have fun, sleep tight and see you soon.
Signed: Claw (tm)

Mau and Bionic, take care and hope to see you both soon in good shape, take good care of your shelfs. Mizz you ;)

======================
Wines: 12 (I feel sober)
Ciggies: 1,5 packets (liar)
Hugs: where were you sweety?
Food: 1 kaas-souflé
Naughty thoughts: infinite
Weight: 105.3 kg
======================

Hellow sweethearts,

Just came home and actually I am a little bit nasty so I put on some nice slow tunes:
1. Napalm Death- Suffer The Children
2. Fear Factory- Martyr
3. Bold Thrower - The IVth Crusade
4. Bee Gees - Staying Alive

(Check it out for fun and you know what kind of creature I am)

Had a splendid evening once again with the local drunks, representing: Vespa Loel, Dr Kaboom, Lord of the Antz, Mooses, Claw (tm) and later on mr Harry from the East showed up (as he had nothing better to do anyway). Talked about shit and stuff. The B.S. served us well, Roxanne was cute and Wanda, the witch from the West did her best as well. Actually this night I was just hopping around on my chair without contributing anything that could be seen as scientifical evidence, except from poor exsitence. Ok, no food, no love, but lovely people around.

I do miss two mortals very much, because I think they belong to us. By the way, don't you mortals ever get tired of hanging around with cheesy heads? Cheesè dad and mom were sleeping (at least I hope) so I went to Du Passage (yet another licenced cheesy bar) and spoke with Pete Jan and Mr Ed the Railroad Man. He was ok, but lonely as he is he tried to do nasty things to a proclaimed woman. Had some wines and went off to Dino's. Sent out some emails to the Loelz and watched the pimps and prostitutes come and go (yeah, you just have to know the right locations). As I was not interested and the prices offered were to low I went to check out my condomium and ate everything not over date from the fridge (how am I ever to loose weight without moving and just have AA meetings going on?).

Now I will just go to sleep, without wanking (ooh, I am so strong) but mmmm. NO. I will listen some salsa music and some Chopin before counting sheep.

Zee you later and hope you will appreciate my company the same as I do yours.

CHEERZS!

======================
Wines: 14
Sambucca's: 1
Ciggies: 2 packets
Food: Chicken Burger
Hugs: 0
Current weight: 105,6 kg
======================

Hello my friends,

Just came in to my humble apartment and ate some Burger King meal (vitamins are everything). Well, what happened tonight? Yet another meeting at Slutty Dike representing me (Claw (tm), Vespa Cock, Lord Of The Antz, Iceman, Mooses (Muschi's), and later on Paul the big witch (bitch?) from the East, no offense, no tongues. Had a splendid evening once again, as we all have nothing better to do in life. Iceman was carressing Vespas's Helmut (no need to explain more, right?). I think Vespa's Vespa is cool. We were also discussing about the opportunity of creating a group blog owned by all off us (f.i. Secrets Of Slutty Dike, "Blog banging"). Mooses presented the Dana Blue International (famous cock cheese protected by Amnesty International to preserve cheese and cheesy dicks like me). Splendid! As Mooses was punnished with bad karma he explained something about dancing and family stuff. Went to Cheese town around 9:25 and got there to see Barca win from Benfica with 2-0 (again the Claw (tm) was right).

Just a small joke: "A girl goes to a shrink, the shrink tells her "I think you are a victim of incest". The girl replied "Bullshit, because my father broke up with me yesterday".

Not much to do at Cheesy Bar, quiet and cheese mom and dad were tired so I left them at 23:23 and went to another cheesy bar called De Drinkerij (always respect the hard working class and tired creatures). Talked with a lovely girl called Constance (all names are made up to protect the guilty, hehehe) and did my commercial talk to make her join the Cheesy Bar Crew (now cheese dad needs three innocent young girls). Talked with Mikey from hotel Stad & Land as well with three funny, but very drunk Limburg guys working at Heiloo. So, one Sambucca added. Thanks. Did some business talk about Cheese Town Bar Evolutions and around 1:00 I paid and went to Burger King.

Came home, no bills or threaths from the government, so I can go to bed and wank in peace. Actually I am going to put on my headphones and listen to some great salsa music before going there.

Loelz, I wish you all the best and hope to see you all soon, Btw: Dr Kaboom, you have a GREAT website and Mooses' blog does well also ;) Kaboom, are you Paul Atreides by the way?

Bionic, hope everything is ok with you and hope to see you safe and sound soon, Rodrillo, same goes for you. Miss your company.

CHEERZ!

Mmm, actually I made a lot of typing errors, you know me, so no comments on this matter (time?) please

Return of the Claw (tm)

=======================
Wines consumed: at least 18 (I lost count, forgive me)
Immitating Ministry Of Funny Walks walking: 1
Ciggies: 2 packets
Hugs: in my imagination only 5
Loelz: once again, many
=======================

Going Memento style.... starting of with the last experiences beacuse my mind is like a cheese, the older I get the more holes get into my brainz.

Tuesday, april 4th

Ellieuw loelz, just rolled in to my codomium, and once again I had a splendid evening. Phew, I dont even know where to start. Let's do it the Memento-way, I start off today, had a wonderful work day with a lot of hazars and funny customers nagging (I love them, do they love me? I wonder)

Came in around 1815 hours and ordered a delicious "Varkenshaasje Saté with French fries" (EUR 11,50 but it rocks!) combined with a glass of milk (too bad it was not Alkmaar goat milk, but I accepted, swallowed and lived).
Introducing new flesh (and yet very old flesh, hehehe): it is named Dr. Kaboom (also known als the Ouwe Rukker). Rodrillo is still suffering from his allergym bless you my friend and I hope the anti biotics rock ;) Representing on our Stammtisch: from left to right: Claw, Lord Of The Antz, Iceman, and Dr Kaboom, later mr Mooses joined us (bless you sweety). Had a wonderful conversation about eh universe and other minor things. Antman told us to watch "Dark city" (inclusing Kiefer) or should I watch National Pornographic (thanks Anty). We were talking about a funny scientific thing: put a rope arond a football and then take it off and add 1 meter, the space between the football and the rope will be 16 cm. Now take the earth and do the same thing: funny enough (we are talking about 40.000 km) it still will be 16 cm. How can that be? Mathematically Dr Kaboom explained us and he is fully right. Loel. I will leave out the equations derived from Dr Kaboom, because this blog is for the simple minds ;) Bless you for your contribution to science. Ok, rabbits glow in the dark, especially when you are near Chernobyl.

Mooses, queen of desperation (playing with words, I LOVE it) is about to have a big Vondelpark party: playing around with ropes and equator belly buttons, don't we all love mother earth?

After the fuzz (good luck with job hunting Mr Kaboom) I went back to Cheesy Town and dropped in into Cheesy Bar. Mum and Dad were around and I talked with the Male Kiwi (aka Paul) and The Biologist). Should we consider pets to be the same as children was the main question, AZ (Alkmaar rulez) won with 3-2 from NAC (fuckers). And then our own private movie started called "The witch from Hamburg": this day (big fatty with long greasy white hair) was thrown out of the "Stad en Land Hotel" nearby and was collecting her stuff and brought to the station entrance. One thing I have to tell: Cheesy Bar is full of big windows so we can watch and enjoy the suffering of others ;) This lady went and collect her bags but funny enough she needed four times to collect her luggage walking back and forth to pick everything up, in the meantime she put her luggage in front of the station entrance and after that she was looking around bewildered, tried to pick up a guy to (shag with)/help her (last trains was gone) and just went bezerk. Finally some Marrocan guys checked her out but were disappointed and went into the nearest bar leaving miss Witchy behind. I will explain later, you had to see it to enjoy (looked like one of the short Dutch movies students make to pass their exam).

Cheese mum went to bed and Cheese dad invited me to have a look at the neigbours (Dido's). Not much going on there, drank a quicky and went to the other neigbour, De Drinkerij to check out Mr Mike. Had some "business talks" about barry things going on, profit and personnel, splendid, I enjoyed and picked the latest info about Alkmaar Bar Life.

Monday, april 3rd

Bionic, Iceman, Antman, Claw were playing drinking games. Let me introduce you to some of that. Numero uno: one person starts off with a question like "things that are black and are easily swallowed" or easier "capitals"; everyone included has to answer clockwise and the one hesotaing to long looses and has to drink (elbows in front). Another one: make a circle and start with "Fuzzy duck", go clockwise repeating this until someone says "does he?", then counter clockwise answer "Ducky Fuzz" and go one... the first one to pronouce wrong looses (it's all about speed). Lord of the Antz had a variation on this: "Furry Muff", "has she?" and "Muffy Fur", well, whatever rubs your rewbarb ;) Got my pint of wine and forgot about a name of a rascist reggae artist (next day I found it :)) went home arund closing time AGAIN.

Sunday, april 2nd

Still sick as a skunk, sun was shining and I was only inside making my bathroom an unsafe place, cleaning up and watched a lot of teewee. Later at night I recovered and went into hotel Stad en Land meeting up with miss Irma (still I try to get her to work for the Cheesy Bar, but her sister also wanting to do this is interfering.. let's wait and see) and Snooker Jan. Also old Piet was there drinking his "Juttertjes", after a while Snooker Jan took me in his white van to a nearby snooker parlour and I LOST 2-1 (he was SO lucky, bastard). At least he drove me home and I crawled into my appartment and went listening to sentimental classical muci (I love it from to time). Went to bed without love.

Saturday, april 1st

SICK AS A TURD, unfortunately, I guess I lost the battle with my body (a strong body in a strong mind, or a strong mind into a strong boy, I still wonder wgat is true). Outside sunny as hell, but I could not enjoy, also have to skip ther Susie's meeting tonight (sorry sweeties) and just went to bed after watching a hooligan videoptape without eating anything. Didn't hurt any attendant mice or rodents, I am too good for this planet and too good for you mortals anyway ;)

Friday, March 31st

Cheesy town day, meeting up with The New Zealander, Aussi Jürgen, NUON Roland and some other material. Wonderful as always, stayed too long, drank too much (forgive me). Not much I van say about this evening, just had a great time, discussed about relative easy universal matters.

Phew, sorry guys, I was out for too long and have to look up Mooses blog to see if he put our very interesting conversation into something useful and remindable. I think you can ;)

Have a good night sleep, Rodrillo, take care and Bionic hope to catch up with you soon so I can beet you in drinking games. Anyway, I think it is big achievement already to type all this hit without making ONE mistake, and that at 3:13. Worship me please.

CHEEERRS!
Signed: Claw (tm)

Oh one thing, if I would make drawings and call them "Clawings (tm)", would they sell? Can I be rich and happy after all?

Helloe guys :)

Kust came home from a greasy snooker bar in Alkmaar and you know what?... I lost 2-1 (almost felt like a non-german and actually I had bad luck, I could have beat up this sweet sucker. He brought me back in a almost racist colour white pick up truck and I just got a meal from Burger King and I am going to swallow it oralwise, so give me just a moment and then I will fullfill my duties of making my blog complete, even I was sick as a turd yesterday and this morning. But.. HOORAY, the claw survived once again ;) LOELZ!

Hi guys, I am fucked right now :) I am sorry but I won't post tonight ;)